WHY YOU SHOULDN'T ARGUE WITH 12 YEAR OLDS

Earlier this week I hired a couple of high schoolers and their 12 year old brother to help me clean and paint part of the house I'm rehabbing. They did a great job and we made some good progress toward finishing the house so I can put it on the market.

But I also got the opportunity to "re-learn" a lesson that I thought I already knew. The 12 year old said something that I didn't think was correct and when I tried to inform him of how and why he was wrong, he simply stated that I was the one who was wrong and that he was right. I wish I could say that I let it go at that and moved on, but I kept trying to win the argument. How I got sucked into this "yes it is...no it isn't" argument with a 12 year old is beyond me.  

I hope that most people are better at avoiding foolish arguments than I am, but unfortunately this can be a struggle for all of us at one point or another. We have all had family members, co-workers, or even strangers who somehow sucker us into stupid arguments.  

After my "discussion" with the 12 year old, I remembered that the Bible tells us to avoid arguments in general. One passage says: "But avoid foolish controversies..."(Titus 3:9). Another one says: "Do everything without grumbling or arguing"(Philippians 2:14). 

One simple way to avoid arguments but still have a good discussion is to respectfully use the word "why." When someone argumentative says something that you want to quickly correct with the right information, try asking them why they believe what they said (instead of jumping to correct what they said). I often feel the need to defend my position on issues but usually fail to ask others for the reasons behind why they think or believe what they do. This tool works well for hot button issues like abortion, faith, politics, or anything else.  

The next time you are tempted to get into an argument with someone try this tactic instead. It will be one step toward having a good discussion rather than an argument. 

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